BIG MAGIC: Creative Living Beyond Fear

I borrowed this book, by Elizabeth Gilbert, from Jill. I didn't love it enough to want to buy it, but there were some ideas I wanted to remember. I decided that my blog was as good a place as any to write them down.

CREATIVITY is the relationship between a human being and the mystery of inspiration.

Creative Living is not always easy but it is always possible. The essential ingredients are not time, money and talent. They are courage, enchantment, permission, persistence and trust. (p.158)

KEYS to CREATIVE LIVING

1. Live in a state of "Uninterrupted Marvel."

2. Do something because it delights you.

3. Be Brave. (Brave is doing something scary. Fear-less is not understanding scary... We need fear for survival and we make space for fear so we can choose to be creative. Fear is triggered by creativity because creativity asks you to enter realms of uncertain outcomes. p.19-23)

4. Be Curious. (Creative living is being driven by curiosity more than fear. p.9)

5. Be Authentic. (You don't have to be original and what you do doesn't have to be important. Make things because you like to and because it interests you.)

6. Do it for yourself. (Don't do it for others. That may be the result but shouldn't be the motivation. And living off your art can burden inspiration, so choose it as a vocation carefully.)

7. There is no "top" to reach for. (Such thinking assumes that the mysteries of inspiration operate on the same scale that we do- on a limited human scale of success and failure, of winning and losing, of comparison and competition, of commerce and reputation, of units sold and influence wielded. Such thinking assumes that you must be constantly victorious- not only against your peers, but also against an earlier version of your own poor self. Most dangerously of all, such thinking assumes that if you cannot win, then you must not continue to play... What does any of that have to do with love, magic, faith or making things? p.70)

8. Feel entitled to be creative. (A little arrogance allows you to more fully engage in creativity and disregard self doubt, self disgust and self judgement. p.92)

9. Debt hurts creativity.

10. Take Risks. (Risk is not the same as gambling.)

11. Sacrifice is required. (Anguish and suffering are not.) (People don't do this kind of thing because they have all kinds of extra time and energy for it; they do this kind of thing because their creativity matters to them enough that they are willing to make all kinds of extra sacrifices for it. p.156)

12. Stop Complaining. (You chose this. You can choose to stop. Creativity is difficult. Complaining about your choice scares away inspiration. p.117)

13. Remember, the REACTION doesn't belong to you.

14. Frustration is part of the process, learn to handle it. And remember the process is more sacred than the finished project.

15. Start any time. (Your education isn't over until you say it's over. p.134)

16. PRACTICE! (Don't sit around waiting for your genius to come... show it your committed by practice and work. p.74)

17. Give up PERFECT to FINISH. (Perfectionism, especially when it prevents you from starting, is a corrosive waste of time. p.169) 

18. Don't dwell on failures. Own the disappointment. Acknowledge it for what it is. Move on.

19. Engage in "Combinatory Play." (Einstein defined it as the act of opening up one mental channel by dabbling in another. p.253)

20. DO something. (Do anything! Motion beats inertia and draws inspiration. p.253)

21. Have an affair with your creative en-devour. (Dress for and seduce creative thoughts. Steal time with your creativity. p.160)

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

When was the last time you felt light, joyous, creative?

What do you do to feel beauty and transcendence?

When an idea gets your attention, you have two choices-
No. Make sure it is no for a good reason because when you say no, it leaves. Or-

Yes. Now- how can you cooperate with the idea and show gratitude for getting to use it?

How does ISOLATION play a role in your creative ability?

What FEARS inhibit your creativity? (Lack talent... criticism... rejection... ridicule... someone did it already... someone did it better... not important enough... p.13-15)(Ego feels criticism, outrage, defensiveness, indignation... Not our soul! It desires wonder.)

***What are you passionate enough about to endure the most disagreeable aspects of?!!

What would you do if you knew it was likely you would fail?

Inspiration is always trying to work with you. Are you trying to work with it? Do you want to "spend your life collaborating with the forces of inspiration?" 


PURPOSE of choosing a CREATIVE LIFE
Jack Gilbert, a poet of no relation to the author, became a poet as 1) a devotional practice, 2) an act of love, and 3) a lifelong commitment to search for grace and transcendence.

A creative life is an amplified life. It is bigger, happier, expanded, more interesting. (p.12)

IN CONCLUSION
Creativity is sacred, and it is not sacred.
What we make matters enormously, and it doesn't matter at all.
We toil alone, and we are accompanied by spirits.
We are terrified, and we are brave.
Art is a crushing chore, and a wonderful privilege.
(Art is meaningless, and it is meaningful. p.134)
Only when we are at our most playful can divinity finally get serious with us.
Make space for all these paradoxes and you can make anything. p.273

2015 Reading List

When I saw my friend Sheryl's blog post with a picture of the books she read in 2015, I knew I had to have one too. Seeing the collection of book covers, hers and mine, is just. plain. happy.

One of my favorite characters, the precocious and hilarious Flavia de Luce, made big changes in As Chimney Sweepers Come to Dust. I didn't like the changes, but I suppose everyone must grow up sometime.

My favorite genre of 2015 was Regency Romance. The books brought me way more delight than my year's average rating of 3.4 would suggest. Edenbrooke, for the third time, was even more charming than the first or second time. I read it again after reading my shortest book of the year, Heir to Edenbrooke (53 pages), a novella which revealed the backstory of Philip. Of the new authors I read in this genre, Sarah M. Eden was my favorite. Friends and Foes introduced another charming and honorable Phillip to love.

I read my first Agatha Christie book this year- And Then There Were None. I had no idea who did it until the last two pages!

My least favorite book is also the most read of my choices in 2015, according to Goodreads. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez was slow, confusing and immoral. I didn't actually finish the book, but I marked it as done because I have no intention of trying it again.

The longest book I read was The Bourne Identity, 566 pages. I love the movie, but the book was fabulous too. The story differed from the movie in many ways but it was similar in that it was fast paced, action packed and smartly told.

The highest rated book I read, according to Goodreads, was The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah (4.55). It was one of my highest rated for the year too. A war story, beautifully told.

The biggest disappointment in 2015 was The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. It had some real gems of wisdom to start but never developed into anything meaningful or magical.

The book I was most happy to read with a book club was Quiet by Susan Cain. We may be reading it for another book club in 2016 which is great! It is such an interesting read!

My two favorite books from 2015 were The Girl You Left Behind by JoJo Moyes and The Nightingale.

My least favorite books were The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins and One Hundred Years of Solitude.

Looking over the books one more time... I read some amazing things this year! My reading has led me to make personal changes for good, taught me about history I didn't know before and helped me to understand people in better and deeper ways. I love to read! And I'm looking forward to more great reading in 2016!

May | 12 on the 12th

I'm still sorting through pictures for April's collage. There are a lot because I was in Paris! I know- lucky me. But this month's is done and ready to print. I love that I have a system now and it only takes me a few minutes to record a day in my life. (click image to enlarge.)

Loved.

Just because somebody doesn't love you

the way you want them to,

doesn't mean they don't love you

with all they have.

-Author Unknown

I came across this quote today while working on a wedding book. It felt less for the newlyweds and more for me. I am busy and need to think about other things right now, but I don't want to lose this thought. It simply reminds me how much I know Kelly actually loves me.

MAR | 12 on the 12th

I tried something different this month- instead of putting a 13th photo in the large square of my collage, I put my journaling there! The jury is still out until I see it printed, but I think I like it. (Click the image to see it larger.)

I Know Heavenly Father Loves Me

That Satan is a tricky guy. I planned to come right home last Thursday and write about the experience I had at Institute, but I got distracted... busy... forgetful... discouraged.

However, I will not let him win! There may be some details that are missing, but this is a record of my experience last week when I KNEW that my Heavenly Father was aware of me and I felt, in a real and powerful way, His love for me.

Late Wednesday night, February 25, Kate came into our room to tell Kelly and me that she had received a text message. It asked students at Lone Peak High School to wear Sunday clothes to school the next day on behalf of a senior who had taken his life Wednesday evening. There have been other suicides at Lone Peak since we moved to the area, but this time it hit closer to home. The student had been in Megan's math group last year and he sat at Kate's table for AP Gov and Pol last semester. Both girls were visibly shaken by the news.

On Thursday morning, Megan left for school on the verge of tears. I started to feel angry that my child was suffering because of this boy's choice. I stewed for the next hour as I helped my other kids get off to school. I felt my anger and judgement increasing. I thought seriously about skipping Institute, but I decided to go.

As I was driving to Institute, I passed the High School. I knew my girls were there, trying to make sense of what had happened. I could feel my anger increasing, so I started to pray. I prayed for my girls. I prayed for myself- that I could have my heart softened and that I could stop feeling judgmental of this boy and his parents. I prayed for my Institute teacher, Patti, and that I would not be a hindrance to the Spirit she teaches with.

I arrived at Institute earlier than usual. This allowed for the first of three reminders that my Heavenly Father knows what I am struggling with and that He can show His love through those who are around us. I sat in my usual spot on the front row. Patti was also at the front preparing for class. She looked right at me, told me she had heard about the suicide at Lone Peak and asked if I was okay. What makes this such a tender mercy is that I don't really know Patti. American Fork High School, where her son attends, beat Lone Peak in football last fall. She might have been celebrating a little in class, when she quickly asked if anyone was from Lone Peak. I raised my hand, we laughed and continued with the lesson. That exchange, more than 3 months ago, is the only way I can think of that Patti would know I have kids at Lone Peak. This day, she remembered that about me. And through her, I felt that the Lord remembered me too.

The second reminder came when Patti began her lesson. She mentioned that she was saddened by the suicide at Lone Peak. She reminded us that we can't judge harshly this boy or his parents. We need to trust the Lord will know this boy's heart and his struggles and He will judge righteously, we don't need to. She also said she hoped she could get through the lesson and have the Spirit there. It was almost word for word a response to what I had prayed for as I drove to Institute. How could she know what was in my heart except through inspiration from a Heavenly Father who had heard my own prayer.

The third reminder came from another class member, Heidi, who shared her experience when her Dad committed suicide. I didn't know what I could say to comfort my girls because I've only ever heard that the atonement doesn't apply to those who commit suicide. I was wrong and her story helped me feel like I could say something hopeful and helpful to my girls. It also directed me to this quote from Elder Ballard:

Obviously, we do not know the full circumstances surrounding every suicide. Only the Lord knows all the details, and he it is who will judge our actions here on earth... When he does judge us, I feel he will take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup, our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received, the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth” (“Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some We Do Not,” Ensign, Oct. 1987, 8).

Patti told us on the very first day of Institute, back in September, that Satan would try to keep us from coming to class. I have battled his influence on several occasions, but never as hard as last Thursday. If I had skipped Institute last week, I believe that I would have continued in anger and judgment and I would have been unable to help my girls. Instead, I left class feeling loved; knowing that God was aware of me; having a softened heart and hope to share.

God understood the heaviness in my heart, so I trust that He will understand the heaviness in others' hearts too.

Doctrine and Covenants | Section 107

It's Thursday- that means I had Institute! I have been attending since September, but today, I had a strong feeling to come home and write what I am thinking about from our lesson. Oh- how I wish I had thought to do this sooner! But I'm not going to let discouragement prevent me from acting on the thought.

We had a wonderful discussion today about the Priesthood. The teacher, Patti Jorgenson, did a wonderful job of preparing by and teaching with the Spirit. There are many wonderful things I could write about. However, there is one idea that has taken hold in my heart and mind that I don't want to forget; that I want to understand better and practice more.

In verse 27 of Section 107, we read,

And every decision made by either of these quorums (meaning the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) must be by the unanimous voice of the same; that is, every member in each quorum must be agreed to its decisions, in order to make their decisions of the same power or validity one with the other.

Then we read a quote by Russel M. Nelson from the 2014 October General Conference:

The calling of 15 men to the holy apostleship provides great protection for us as members of the Church. Why? Because decisions of these leaders must be unanimous. Can you imagine how the Spirit needs to move upon 15 men to bring about unanimity? These 15 men have varied educational and professional backgrounds, with differing opinions about many things. Trust me! These 15 men- prophets, seers, and revelators- know what the will of the Lord is when unanimity is reached! They are committed to see that the Lord's will truly will be done. The Lord's Prayer provides the pattern for each of these 15 men when they pray: "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven."

The class then shared their thoughts about how this principle is a blessing and the ways they have seen it in action. Two comments came together for me that have prompted this post- One sister asked us to think about what it is like to have 15 FAMILY members come to any decision- which was followed by much laughter, and Patti asked how we can use this pattern in our presidencies, ward councils and FAMILIES.

In listening to these comments, I realized that I want my family to be unified in following the Lord. I want us ALL to value the gospel and be committed to living its' principles. I'm tired of seeming like a dictator to my children when I set rules. Especially when I am trying to do what the Lord has asked and my goal is to keep my children safe and healthy.

I should try using this pattern of unanimity to unite and strengthen my family.

If we make FHE, family prayer, scripture study, curfew, work and kindness matters of prayer and discuss solutions together with the purpose of learning the Lord's will for our family, then I think we can be unanimous in our commitment to the Lord.

The key will come from verses 30-31,

30 The decisions of these quorums, or either of them, are to be made in all righteousness, in holiness, and lowliness of heart, meekness and long suffering, and in faith, and virtue, and knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness and charity;

31 Because the promise is, if these things abound in them they shall not be unfruitful in the knowledge of the Lord.

If we, as a family, can truly seek the Lord's will and approach these issues, which have been sources of contention in our home, with meekness, faith and charity- we will "not be unfruitful in the knowledge of the Lord." I love this promise.

It will be hard. It will take time and practice. But I truly believe this is the approach I am supposed to use with my family.

I am grateful for the opportunity to attend Institute. I am grateful for the influence of the Spirit. I am grateful for my Heavenly Father, His wisdom and His perfect plan that has been in place since the beginning. I know that He shows us the way to be happy and return to His presence!