creative killer
So, Kelly and two of my kids are gone tonight. BYU made this stupid deal with the cable company so they could broadcast all the games and we are anti cable so, Kelly went to Centerville to watch the football game with his Dad, who is not so anti cable. Anyway-
I was all excited to have a creative night. I put Ethan to bed and asked Megan to read to Emily. But instead of running to the craft room, I literally ran down the street to deliver a manual to my new Sunbeam teacher. (Angela is moving and has my van.) I came back and got the girls tucked in. But instead of running to the craft room- I am headed to the kitchen to do the dishes. Then I have several loads of laundry to fold. I will also pick-up (the only cleaning I really ever do) so my Sabbath Day isn't ruined by a messy house.
This seemed to be an extension of a past creative hang-up, not really a new one. But I am SO tired of my messy house (a constant and seemingly unfixable state of being) always putting a damper on my creativity! I just can't seem to find any creative energy when I know there is a mess all around me. I keep telling myself that I will enjoy my creative time when the work is done- but who am I kidding? The work is NEVER done! And yet, I can't seem to come to grips with this and leave it be for a creative stint. It's a Catch 22! (I can say this because I read the whole cursed book and feel entitled to use of this phrase!!)
I was all excited to have a creative night. I put Ethan to bed and asked Megan to read to Emily. But instead of running to the craft room, I literally ran down the street to deliver a manual to my new Sunbeam teacher. (Angela is moving and has my van.) I came back and got the girls tucked in. But instead of running to the craft room- I am headed to the kitchen to do the dishes. Then I have several loads of laundry to fold. I will also pick-up (the only cleaning I really ever do) so my Sabbath Day isn't ruined by a messy house.
This seemed to be an extension of a past creative hang-up, not really a new one. But I am SO tired of my messy house (a constant and seemingly unfixable state of being) always putting a damper on my creativity! I just can't seem to find any creative energy when I know there is a mess all around me. I keep telling myself that I will enjoy my creative time when the work is done- but who am I kidding? The work is NEVER done! And yet, I can't seem to come to grips with this and leave it be for a creative stint. It's a Catch 22! (I can say this because I read the whole cursed book and feel entitled to use of this phrase!!)
Any ideas on how to keep my continuous state of disarray from KILLING my creative fun?
I know, I know- a house keeper! 'Cause I can afford that!
I know, I know- a house keeper! 'Cause I can afford that!
posted by jenn | 9/02/2006
12 Comments:
If you can afford a housekeeper then why don't you get one? That won't help with the day-to-day clutter and dishes, but at least your bathrooms and floors could be scoured regularly leaving you more available for the rest of it.
Also, your kids help with household jobs right? Is just that Ethan undoes everything you do? That's a tough thing to combat.
You could always just go in your craft room and shut the door so that the mess is out of sight and the creative goodness surrounds you and restores you for when you have to come out of there. Think Smokey Plum!
I was trying to sound sarcastic about the house cleaner- I can't afford that! Never mind the guilt it would generate and feelings of failure as a wife/mom/homeowner... And shutting the door doesn't help- I KNOW my house is a disaster!! I envy your enjoyment of cleaning and those who can ignore the mess blissfully!
It is a Catch-22!!! I've been using that phrase often these days.
You must call Megan. Not having to clean bathrooms is a definite help.
I'm sorry that you didn't get to your craft room.
Trust me, even having a house cleaner doesn't ebb the the tide of messiness. What we all need is someone like Alice from the Brady Bunch--a live in caretaker of our homes. It would be helpful if she would run the car pool and pay the bills as well. But alas, that would require the ability to pay someone's annual salary--and who are we kidding, sometimes it feels like the salary we have just doesn't cut it.
I'm just like you. I can't do anything if my house is too messy. I have a certain threshold for clutter and then it just gets to be too much. Could you try cleaning, not to perfection, but to tolerability? Certainly that wouldn't take as long!
Mostly, I'm just sorry about your "wasted" night. Why is it that the times when we want to be creative things always seem to get in the way?
I really feel for you on this one, Jenn! I have the same problem. Sometimes I just ignore the mess in order to do something I want to do (the mess is still there, right?), but it is hard. What kills me is that I feel like I barely ever get time to work on the creative stuff I want to, and the house is STILL always looking like a mess! What's wrong with me??
I have the same guilty feelings and sometimes I can just let it go and force myself to create and not worry about the rest. What I do more times than not is this: Lets say I have 3 hours to myself- I will crank up the music and clean/fold/wash/pick up like a mad woman for 30-45 minutes (I set a timer). I really do get a lot done because I put the pressure on myself and am always amazed at what I get done- plus it usually makes my heartrate go up, so that is a bonus! Then I spend the rest of the time feeling good about myself and creating or reading or whatever. Mya usually takes a 2-3 hour nap so I spend the first 30 minutes doing things I need to do and then the rest is for me. It has been working great for a while. Good luck- I hope you find something that works for you because you have a creative gift that deserves attention!
I haven't felt creative in years. I'm amazed that you do as much as you do. I wish I could help, but I have no ideas!
How agonizingly frustrating it must be for you.
I think the answer, if there is one, must lie within you.
One movie depicted Heaven as being able to do all those things you wanted to do in this life but couldn't. I hope it's so.
I have these exact same struggles only with three less kids. So far I have just quit doing anything creative which bugs me but I keep thinking I will do that after.... let us know the solution. My kids help tons and I still seem to always be behind. Sometimes I sabotage myself with laziness when I do have a few extra minutes.
I have had the same conversation with myself so many times: I will enjoy ______ as soon as I get my house picked up. I finally signed up for flylady.com and I LOVE IT! It makes it so much easier to stay on top of things. It is a woman who helps you put together a routine for keeping your house clean. The site is a little messy and hard to navigate, but I have a few family members who SWEAR it has changed their lives. For instance, every morning you get up before the kids and get yourself totally dressed and ready for the day, before you head downstairs you quickly swish out your toilet bowl with a brush and you quickly wipe down your counter tops so that you don't have to come back to your bathroom later. Then, on the way downstairs you take down any dirty laundry and throw in a load. Every day you do a little load of laundry, regardless of whether it is a full load or not. Each day she sends you a challenge to do, like organize all of your tupperware and plastics, only keep what you love, pitch the rest. It's always different. Anyway, there is a lot to it and it is worth checking out. It doesn't make the house instantly clean, but it lets you be more on top of things.
Bummer about the "wasted creativity", I hear what your saying about a messy house, I don't function well like that either, I need a clean house so that I can start a whole new mess. Good luck.
I'm glad that someone else feels the same way that I do. I only have a 10 month old daughter and a fairly small house, but it seems like the work is never done. I don't know what the solution is, but I know that for me I just do a little at a time throughtout the day and hopefully by the end of the day and Savannah is in bed I will be able to spend the rest of the evening doing whatever it is I have WANTED to do all day.
I don't know how old you kids are but I think that it is always good to get the kids involved. Give them chore charts. It will relieve a lot of your stress and free up your time. Maybe you already do this!?!? We did that in my house growing up and now I am so thankful that my mom taught me how to keep a clean house. She was definitely a master, but now that I think about it she never had any free time to do what she wanted. Good luck!!!
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