November 4th: Sight
Soren failed his vision test at school this year, so he and I went to see the eye doctor today.
(my first self portrait in February 2007 and the last time I had glasses)
I started wearing glasses when I was about 13 and have worn them inconsistently over the years. (It's been more than three years since I broke my last pair!) I need glasses to see far away and with all the driving I do, it seemed like a good time to replace them. Soren however...
Well. Soren's left eye has nearly perfect vision. His right eye though is off-the-charts bad. I don't quite know what the numbers mean, but a good eye starts at 0. Any impairment is then measured in .25 increments. For example- my eyes are -.25 and -.75 and my vision can be corrected with glasses. Soren's eyes are -.25 and -7.5 and the doctor would guess that it has been this way since birth.
SEVEN point five?! Really?!@# !? He's been near blind in one eye for 11 years and he just now failed a vision test? The really awful thing is that there isn't anything worth doing to correct his vision at this point. If it had been caught early, they would have used a patch to strengthen his weak eye but that won't do much now because, and this is the amazing part, his brain has learned to see from Soren's good eye. The muscles and nerves are all healthy and function properly in his bad eye but what he sees comes from his good eye. The doctor tried several "corrections" over his bad eye and his vision didn't improve. His brain is seeing what his good eye sees!
I feel like a terrible mother for not catching this and helping Soren to see better. Especially now that he plays football and sometimes his helmet blocks his good eye or he has to watch for the ball from his bad side. Soren has even complained about his vision for a couple of years, but his complaints have never been consistent and he hasn't had any alarming symptoms like lazy or crossed eyes, dizziness, clumsiness or lack of vision. Blurry was just not a description that set off any bells or whistles for me.
So, today- I am thankful for my sight. I am thankful that I can see the red sock hiding in the load of whites... the fall colors on the mountains... the faces of my children when they break out in a smile... the words on a page of a wonderful book... the batman toy on the stair... my daffodils when they bloom... through the lens of my camera... Kelly's car as it passes the kitchen window on his way home...
And so much more.
I'm also thankful that Soren's body has found a way for him to see. And although I wish I could fix his left eye, he sees well enough to have caught a touchdown pass in last week's game and that is something!
(my first self portrait in February 2007 and the last time I had glasses)I started wearing glasses when I was about 13 and have worn them inconsistently over the years. (It's been more than three years since I broke my last pair!) I need glasses to see far away and with all the driving I do, it seemed like a good time to replace them. Soren however...
Well. Soren's left eye has nearly perfect vision. His right eye though is off-the-charts bad. I don't quite know what the numbers mean, but a good eye starts at 0. Any impairment is then measured in .25 increments. For example- my eyes are -.25 and -.75 and my vision can be corrected with glasses. Soren's eyes are -.25 and -7.5 and the doctor would guess that it has been this way since birth.
SEVEN point five?! Really?!@# !? He's been near blind in one eye for 11 years and he just now failed a vision test? The really awful thing is that there isn't anything worth doing to correct his vision at this point. If it had been caught early, they would have used a patch to strengthen his weak eye but that won't do much now because, and this is the amazing part, his brain has learned to see from Soren's good eye. The muscles and nerves are all healthy and function properly in his bad eye but what he sees comes from his good eye. The doctor tried several "corrections" over his bad eye and his vision didn't improve. His brain is seeing what his good eye sees!
I feel like a terrible mother for not catching this and helping Soren to see better. Especially now that he plays football and sometimes his helmet blocks his good eye or he has to watch for the ball from his bad side. Soren has even complained about his vision for a couple of years, but his complaints have never been consistent and he hasn't had any alarming symptoms like lazy or crossed eyes, dizziness, clumsiness or lack of vision. Blurry was just not a description that set off any bells or whistles for me.
So, today- I am thankful for my sight. I am thankful that I can see the red sock hiding in the load of whites... the fall colors on the mountains... the faces of my children when they break out in a smile... the words on a page of a wonderful book... the batman toy on the stair... my daffodils when they bloom... through the lens of my camera... Kelly's car as it passes the kitchen window on his way home...
And so much more.
I'm also thankful that Soren's body has found a way for him to see. And although I wish I could fix his left eye, he sees well enough to have caught a touchdown pass in last week's game and that is something!
posted by jenn | 11/04/2010
5 Comments:
Sorry for your feelings of guilt...please let go of them. Obviously Soren doesn't feel impaired in any way. I think its wonderful that our bodies can make up the difference in so many things! You're a great mom!
Wow! So weird that it was never caught until now. Marc had a corneal transplant in one eye and it developed a severe astigmatism. He is legally blind in that eye, but his other eye has nearly perfect vision. I don't understand it, but somehow his brain compensates and he has depth perception! Our bodies are amazing.
I agree with Jenny. Let go of your guilt. You are a wonderful mother.
Peace!
That is unreal! There is NOTHING you could have done to have known...I hope you won't beat yourself up too badly. HALLELUJAH for miracles though, how amazing is Soren's body to have figured out a way to cope and work all these years? He's a very lucky boy.
How could you have caught it though? It's frustrating that things like this happen, but seriously what could you have done?
I am so thankful for sight! Just yesterday as we were coming out of church at 5:15 there was the most beautiful sunset to the West and then golden light on the mountains to the East and I actually thought to myself, "I'm so glad I can see this."
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